Blog
Friday, February 17, 2012
Some times things just suck, there are no if, and, or buts about it. Things just suck.
When these things come up, people will tell me, "Its all in god's plan" or, "its all for the best." But at the end of the day these things have very little impact on how I am feeling as this is all stuff that I already know. Not just cognitively understand, but things that I have come to internalize and truly believe in. But no matter how many times it is repeated, these AA catchphrases mean nothing to me no matter how much I truly believe them to be true. I want to see, hear, or feel that plan and I want it now!
Today, when things just weren't going my way, when I wanted to deck the closest dumb person in the face I found my sponsor and we talked. He agreed that he feels this way at times and has come to find one critical point: it is all about acceptance.
Baffled, I responded, "I HAVE HEARD THAT ALREADY AND IT DOESN'T HELP!"
He continued to explain that it is all about acceptance and in reality, I had no idea what that meant. Acceptance does not mean that everything is rainbows and blow jobs all the time...life is not always going to be prancing through fields of daisies.
Acceptance is understanding that sometimes things suck, acceptance is understanding that when things suck it is OK.
~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties
Monday, January 30, 2012
Despite the hundreds of success stories I have heard through my time at Healing Properties and in the rooms of AA, I have heard thousands of fateful, depressing stories of failure. These failures, although not as publicized or discussed, have instilled in me more than the successes ever could. These failure stories continue to scare me, even when things are good in my life. The people that come and go, the people that live and die, the people that are continuously fighting for their lives on a daily basis in pursuit of the utter sense of bliss that drugs and alcohol once brought them truly scares me.
Although motivating, these stories are a double edged sword in that on one hand they do provide a barometer with which to measure my success but on the other, they at times, torment my pursuit of god, AA, and a sober way of life by showing me how easy it is to fail. Consistently, when things get bad, when my life seems unmanageable, when I feel sad, overworked, and angry I start to remember these stories and the consistent themes that pervade them; Inconsistency in the everyday habits that keep people sober. I begin to think, am I doing something wrong? Is this going to lead me to a drink or a drug? Can’t I just “trudge the road of happy destiny”?
And then I remember...
Around me I have people that care about me, I have friends, I have health, I have integrity. I am a man of honesty. As longs as I continue to pursue god, the AA way of life, clean my side of the street, and help others all will be well. For that I am grateful.
~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties
Friday, January 20, 2012
When it was first suggested that I go to a Halfway House in Delray Beach, I figured it was a good place to stay sober and meet other sober people with whom I can learn to navigate my newfound life of sobriety. I saw it as a place to go and meet new friends, learn the “tricks of the trade”, and have some grounding with which to sprout some new roots strong enough to hold together the remains of my miserable and out of control lifestyle. But, in the end, Healing Properties Halfway House gave me so much more.
I have always heard from others, “If you want what someone has, then do what they do,” a phrase which meant nothing to a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict like me. I wanted what others had but under no circumstances was I going to do what they did; to be frank, it was because I had no idea what they had or what they did. Over time, however, I had the opportunity to observe the revolving door of sobriety, the people coming, the people going, and most importantly the people who actually stayed. I soon realized what this phrase actually meant. I saw before me, the growing tree of sobriety, as people with sponsers got sponsees and in turn began watering their own roots of sobriety, exponentially turning the roots that I sought into a blossoming tree. I realized how low I had set the bar for myself, I was satisfied with roots (i.e. an end to my chaotic lifestyle) and neglected to pursue my ultimate blossoming tree (i.e. a life of security, serenity, and happiness). Coming in, and ultimately staying, at Healing Properties Halfway House gave me the opportunity to see the forest and not just the trees.
~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties
Monday, January 09, 2012
This is my first post for Behind the Black Door so I think I will start from my first memory at Healing Properties. After over 6 months of inpatient treatment for drug and alcohol addiction, I decided to take the suggestion of my therapist and continue my treatments in a safe and supporting environment in Delray Beach FL. I chose Healing Properties Halfway House for the location but in reality, when I think back on it, I think Healing Properties chose me.
At first, being the little kid in a man’s body I have always been, I was scared. I didn’t know these people, I was a long way from home in Delray Beach FL, and to make matters worse it was my first time out of the intensive bubble that is the drug and alcohol treatment facility program. Attending my first house meeting, needless to say, I was nervous... especially after someone told me I would have to sing a song in front a group of about 35 other people my age. Come to think of it, I think petrified would be more appropriate.
“Hi, I am Philthadelphia, and I am an alcoholic,” I said nervously.
“Hey Philth...welcome!” replied the group enthusiastically.
“Tell us about yourself and what Healing Properties Halfway House can do to help you,” asked the house manager.
“Well, I said hesitantly,” going into the spiel of problems and issues that led me to Healing Properties in the first place, “I’ve always been intimidated by people.”
“Can you guys help Philthadelphia feel more comfortable?” asked the house manager.
With a resounding, “YES!” I had been officially welcomed into Healing Properties Halfway House. I could feel the energy coming from this odd-ball group of full grown men, tattoos, drug problems and all. What a sight! In an instant, the fear and loneliness subsided and I realized I was home. It was then that I realized, I didn’t chose Healing Properties, Healing Properties chose me.
~ Written By: Any one of the current tenants of Healing Properties
Written by Tim Monday, February 28, 2011
In the first years of Healing Properties’ inception George teamed up with Tim to formulate the program that Healing Properties follows today. Raised in Harlem, in the 1950’s, George (the more educated of the two) was a National Merit Scholarship winner as he ranked in the (delete top) 96th percentile on the SAT. He soon found himself at Wesleyan Collage. With the changing socio-political climate of the late 1960’s in the United States, George found himself involved with a number of conflicting influences. Looking to find solace, George finally made it to Delray Beach. And, that’s where he met Tim. George was instrumental in the rapid growth of Healing Properties, bringing its size from 5 beds to 65 beds in a matter of 2 years. During this time George wanted to perfect his skills for helping people, so he began to obtain his Masters at Barry University, in Miami Shores, Florida. George received his M.S. in Mental Health Counseling (minor – Marriage, Family, Conjoint Therapy); graduated 2007 with Honors (3.95 GPA); NCC – National Certified Counselor; member Chi Sigma Iota (Counseling Honors Society); member American Counseling Association; member Association for Multicultural Counseling and Development. When George decide to continue his education and get his PHD, the workload of the two endeavors, Healing Properties and the PHD, were too much. Tim and George shook hands and parted as the best friends two men could be. George is still persuing his PHD while getting married and having a beautiful bouncing baby boy. (Tim is the god-father…fyi)
Written by Tim Saturday, February 26, 2011
Written by Tim Monday, February 21, 2011
We had our first house meeting at the new compound today.
Written by Tim Friday, February 18, 2011
The new renovations are almost complete!
Woo Hoo!!
Written by Tim Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Written by Tim Wednesday, September 03, 2008
For the past couple of years, every Wednesday, we have had a Big Book Study on the main compound. It really has become a big deal. It started off as a mandatory meeting just for the tenants, but about a year ago, I opened it up to the public Francesca took over is drawing in AA members from all over, beginners and people with multiple years of sobriety. It is amazing to me to see sponsors bringing their sponsees in as an addition to the work that they do one on one. This is not a traditional AA meeting as we do not want to violate any tradition.  What it is, is hard look at what Bill Wilson and the first 100 wrote, read and broken down by one of the most knowledgeable historians of AA that I have ever met or had the chance to hear speak. Go Francesca! Well...Francesca has been away for the past four weeks and is finally back. So, we are starting all over today. We will be starting with "The Doctor's Opinion" and working our way thru. If you haven't heard her I really suggest you do. Feel free to stop by any Wednesday at 6:00pm. You can call Jon for Dirrections: 561-716-0784
Saturday, August 09, 2008
My name is Nicole and I‚'m an alcoholic and an addict. I always thought that if I could just stop drinking, I would be happy. If I could just lay off the drugs, I would be able to accomplish the things I had planned and I would find peace and serenity. Despite the threat of death, emotional destruction, and the shame and guilt that hung over me every minute of every miserable day, I couldn‚'t stop inviting the abuse of my addiction. My parents gave me a choice, treatment or the street. I chose treatment because it sounded like a safe 30 day escape. Although I longed for the personal achievements and accomplishments that would surely follow sobriety, I was extremely frightened by the thought of living my life without the haze and comfort brought on by alcohol and drugs. After 28 days as a patient in a residential rehab for substance abuse, even with the therapy and treatment, I realized that if I went back home I would die. For the first time in my life, I decided that I didn‚'t know best, listened to therapists and supports, and followed suggestions. I admitted I was powerless. God led me to a halfway house in Delray Beach called Healing Properties. Scared out of my mind and willing to do anything to stay sober, I moved into the sober house and immediately began to follow suggestions. The first rule required that I get a sponsor and work the steps. I had no idea what the 12 steps entailed, but with the support of the girls and guidance from my property manager I began building a foundation as I learned about a solution with infinite possibilities. There are numerous club houses offering daily AA and NA meetings in Delray Beach and surrounding areas such as Boca Raton and West Palm Beach. The rules of the facility and the random drug testing provided the structure I needed to stay focused on recovery. The houses are located off of Atlantic Ave which offered many job opportunities and beaches within walking distance. All of these things made my transition from rehab into real world situations a lot more comfortable. The houses provided a safe, clean, community for this hopeless alcoholic. As the result of getting a sponsor, I was taken through the steps and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous brought me to a solution that could solve all my problems. That solution is God. I lived at Healing Properties for 8 months and it changed my life in a way that I can‚'t describe in words. I always thought that if I could just stop drinking, I would be happy. If I could just lay off the drugs, I would find peace and serenity. The difference today is that I have found an incredible happiness, unending peace, and a contentment I thought I never deserved, and because of these things, I do not drink, and I have no desire for drugs.Written by Tim Friday, July 25, 2008
Dear Friends,
I am pleased to introduce Brian Zarmanian as the newest addition to the Healing Properties team. As Male Property Manager, Brian’s responsibilities include enforcing all of the rules and regulations set forth by Healing Properties, providing daily moral support and guidance to all of our male residents, and maintaining consistent and effective communications with our referring facilities. Brian has launched into the position with passion and vigor, personally acquainting himself with each resident and providing individualized guidance.
Before coming to Healing Properties, Brian’s reputation and experienced as a leader in the sober community, graduate of Healing Properties, combined with his robust adherent to the principles of a sober life, rendered him a perfect candidate for Male Property Manager. I am truly excited to have this opportunity to introduce him to the Healing Properties community and see the new and fantastic directions in which he takes our program.
Six years ago, I opened Healing Properties with four beds and a passion for recovery. In that time, Healing Properties has grown to accommodate over eighty residents at one time, and has graduated hundreds of men and woman who have gone on to live sober and purposeful lives. The commitment to excellence inherent in the Healing Properties’ philosophy has remained unshaken. In light of this, it is with great pride and honor that I offer Brian as our newest vehicle for executing our principles.
Brian is eager to meet with as many of his referring therapists and treatment centers as possible. He is always available for tours of the property as well as presentations of our program. Please do not hesitate to contact us at your convenience so we may introduce you to our newest leader.
As always, I am available to you for any and all questions or concerns you may have.
I would like to personally express my gratitude to all of you who make the Healing Properties experience possible.
Sincerely,
Timothy H. Schnellenberger
Friday, July 18, 2008
Basically the turning point in my life came when a friend of mine accepted me at his halfway house; which happened to be Healing Properties. I had been an active alcoholic since I was seventeen years old and my disease progressed to a state of paranoia at which point I was on the brink of death. By the age of twenty-seven I began to lock myself into hotels, crashing on the couch's of friends and staying at my parents house when I could. All of this was brought about by my addiction which was growing stronger as it was weakening my spirit. When recreation turned to habit I was getting high and drunk every day. The paranoia began playing tricks on me and I would talk to myself and scream at the phantoms in my closet to save me. Eventually I became so disheartened that I went to my father and confessed what my life had become. This was my initial attempt at willingness, something I hadn't seen in myself for a decade. Before I ever picked up that first drink, my life was on the path to success, I had everything I could have wanted. My parents were hard working individuals who provided me with love and care. And I had Grandparents who spoiled me rotten. I had two brothers and a sister who loved me unconditionally, the best friends a boy could ask for, and a promising athletic career with the grades to take it to the college level. Although I had a promising future I started to experiment with mind altering substances which grasped my life and turned it upside down. My caring family saw my life crashing in around me, this is when my father found a treatment facility in Delray Beach where I spent three months. This is where I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous. After graduation I was fortunate enough to get a bed at Healing Properties, however I was resistant to the structure and accountability that I was encountering there. I was truely convinced that I could acheive sobriety without the twelve steps, structure, or accountability. I left Healing Properties after 3 months and stayed dry for 18 months without working a program of recovery. This state that I was in was more miserable than any of my days drinking or using drugs. The day came when I picked up once more, and in a few short months I had lost my job, my friends and the roof over my head. The final two agonizing weeks of my bender, I was broken and on the verge of suicide. Sleeping in my car begging for change and bathing in pools. I had what most addicts call a moment of clarity, I thought of Tim and Healing Properties. I thought of all the times I had been told that there was a solution to my alcoholism. Finally I had enough and mustered up the strength and courage to call Tim. I spoke to him about coming back. When I got back I had nothing but the shirt on my back. The fact was that I needed structure and accountability in my life if I was going to succeed in sobriety. But more-so I need to get a sponsor and work the twelve steps as outlined in the book of alcoholics anonymous. Healing Properties allowed me to build a strong foundation which outlined how to live my life. I lived at Healing Properties for 9 months the second time working a vigorous program of action. I developed and perfected a set of life skills like showing up for work, being a son to my parents, coming home at a decent hour and cleaning my house to the best of my ability. These are just some of the skill sets i developed while staying at Healing Properties. Today, having over two years sober, my life is beyond comprehension, I help other alcoholics and addicts in need by being a sponsor and taking them through the twelve steps. I am a productive member of society, but helping others at Healing Propeties as the male Property manager is one of the greatest blessings which sobriety has granted me. I am truly blessed to carry the tradition that Healing Properties has produced within the sober community. Healing Properties is a place of great faith and passion and it is my belief that miracles do happen here, I am living proof of that.Written by Tim Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I guess I will talk about how it all came about!Written by Admin Monday, December 31, 2007
Hello Healing Properties Family!
Well, the cooler nights have arrived and "season" in southeast Florida is in full tilt. Holiday decorations adorn every window sill, street corner, and storefront. The palm trees are dressed in their twinkling lights and the electricity of the holiday air is infectious. The restaurants, boutiques and galleries aligning Atlantic Avenue stand at attention while anxious shoppers bustle in and out. When I moved to Delray Beach from New York City I was certain that I would miss the winter weather and the holiday festivities. I just knew that I could not ever get in the holiday spirit in 75 degree weather-as is often the case, I turned out to be dead wrong!
We at Healing Properties are rolling up our sleeves and gathering our resources for the holiday season as well. Historically, it is our experience that holidays are difficult times for people in recovery, especially early recovery. The paths of destruction left by the actions of drug addicts and alcoholics, the battlefields of broken hearts and broken promises, seem to ache more vividly at this time of year than any other. Amidst the holiday merriment, memories of treacherous behavior ebb and flow and force some of us to swallow hard. Next, the inevitable questions emerge-will I ever get better? Will this ever get better? Will they ever forgive me? Why me? What is the purpose behind all this?
It is our purpose and mission to remind each of our current and future residents that all of our paths are ultimately good if we so choose. The unifying powers of forgiveness, love, and compassion will transcend the divisions of dishonesty and betrayal every time. We at Healing Properties wish to affirm and reaffirm in word and in action that the "miracle of healing" is available to absolutely every human who works for it. We have seen the most breathtaking miracles unfold in this community-lives recreated, families reassembled and the message of recovery carried on. Holidays present a crossroads for each of us; we can return to the shadowy corners of our memories and resurrect the ghosts of old, or we can raise our eyes to the light-filled future of a new joy, a new bliss, a new serenity- the fruits of which we cannot even imagine.
This holiday season will be a time of choices for us all. It is our hope at Healing Properties that we are all empowered to make the choices that are the most satisfying to our innermost selves and the most rewarding to the greater good of all.
As we look to the New Year, we are calmly anticipating that which 2008 will bring. We are comforted to know that even with the coming and going of the holidays, the ending of one year and the beginning of a new year, we will be in our tiny corner of Delray Beach watching the miracle of recovery take hold of men and women. We will be relishing in the work of recovery giving birth to that gleam of enthusiasm and confidence in the eyes of sober people. We will watch the promises of sobriety take root inside the people who work for them and blossom into something beyond their wildest dreams. We will guide you and watch you as you transform your life... and we will love every minute of it.
Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and God Bless,
Written by Admin Saturday, September 01, 2007
Hello Healing Properties Family!
Well, we made it through another summer! As the night air becomes cooler and we pack away our summer clothes (which are almost the same as our winter clothes...ahhhh the wonders of living in Florida!) we are very excited about the next few months at Healing Properties. Autumn ushers in a sense of freshness and new beginnings, a bright new start; it is no different for us. With every new season we get more and more excited to see whose paths will begin at our pink houses. Who will come across our thresholds ready to start a new life, and leave with once faraway dreams, fulfilled?
The new male three-quarter way house I mentioned in June is up and running and packed with men living the promises of sobriety. We are so proud of our residents-especially those who choose to stay past their ninety-day commitment and truly dedicate their first year of sobriety to the redefinition and resurrection of life. It is a blessing to be a part of all of their lives.
The Big Book study Saul and I do every Wednesday night is in full swing after a summer hiatus. We are delving into “Into Action,” and as we move forward, the crowds grow! It is so amazing to see upward of forty men and women, from all over Delray Beach, gathered in one place for the message of recovery and hope. Again, we are honored and humbled by the opportunity to provide the venue for such a wonderful display of unity and learning.
So, as I mentioned, this fall will bring a new addition to Healing Properties, about which I am particularly excited! As a recovering woman, the integrity of female sober living environments is of the utmost importance to me. Tim has (finally!) purchased a three-quarter way house for women transitioning from the Healing Properties compound to a less structured sober living home. Indeed, he and Nicole will soon commence the very same process of Home Depot, furniture shopping, painting, and landscaping that each of our houses went through in order to become what they are today! This is such a critical development as it has been way too long coming and we are so thrilled to finally have a three-quarter way house for women that shines with the consistent message of recovery and hope so many people have found and will continue to find at Healing Properties.
As September rolls by and we look into the next months, we are energized by new admissions and new opportunities to see pain transformed by courage into strength.
May this fall bring you all the new beginnings you desire.
God Bless,
Written by Admin Monday, July 02, 2007
Hello Healing Properties Family!
The month of June has been an exciting month at Healing Properties. I am delighted and honored to update the Healing Properties community about the most recent developments in our world.
First of all, I have stepped down as Property Manager in order to finish my BA at FAU. It has been a privilege and a blessing to work with every woman, treatment center, and family member that has crossed my path. I am overwhelmed with gratitude when I think about the miracles of transformation I have seen happen within the walls of our pink houses. I have seen women recover, families reunited, integrity earned, and grace experienced and celebrated. What an amazing gift this job has been for me; a gift, I assure you, which I will cherish always. Thank you all for making this past year and half so incredible.
It is with great pleasure that I introduce Nicole, my friend and successor. I have had the distinct honor of watching Nicole develop into a sober, responsible, honorable woman. As a Healing Properties Alumna (like myself) Nicole is uniquely suited to carry on the "torch" with a steadfast commitment to execute the philosophy under which we have all grown so much. On a personal note, I am blessed enough to have had the opportunity to take Nicole through the twelve steps. I have watched her as she has earnestly integrated the principles of our twelve-step program into every arena of her life with enthusiasm, passion, discipline and vigilance. The truth is I would not have stepped down as female property manager until I was one hundred percent confident that the next woman would continue the legacy of excellence at HPI that I inherited when accepting the job. Thankfully, Nicole emerged as an amazingly qualified candidate. Her passion (sometimes even zeal!) for working with others renders her an outstanding member of the sober community in Delray Beach and a fabulous role model for the Healing Properties women to come. I am so excited to observe the improvements Nicole will undoubtedly bring to the Healing Properties community.
As for the men, this past month, Tim (Owner and Founder of Healing Properties) has purchased, re-vamped, an opened a brand-new Senior House (our version of a ¾ way house) for men. In a flourish of furniture shopping, construction and Home Depot, Saul and Tim have seamlessly assembled a new property into which the men have already settled.
We are so excited to have seven more beds opening at Healing Properties. The house is beautiful and perfectly equipped to facilitate the establishment of solid, long-term sobriety. Our Senior Houses allow for those who have completed their 90-day stay at the halfway house compound to expand upon their foundation of sobriety within a sober sanctuary with fewer rules. The opening of this new property is exciting on all levels; we love that we have made more room for our "graduates" to continue to flourish under a Healing Properties roof. In addition, we are thrilled to have made seven more beds available to newcomers in our primary compound.
That is all of the news for now. Thank you all again for continuing to support our vision. Healing Properties would be nothing if it were not for the unrelenting work of the staff and, most importantly, the dedication to sobriety exhibited by our residents.
Stay tuned for future updates as I will be updating our newsletter regularly.
We wish you all the best.
God Bless,
Written by Tim Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Dear Friends,
As always, I am available to you for any and all questions or concerns you may have.
I would like to personally express my gratitude to all of you who make the Healing Properties experience possible.
Sincerely,
Timothy H. Schnellenberger
561-251-2770
Written by Tim Monday, January 01, 2007
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